Her: Pssstttt.... this is so stupid but i have a question about consent Me: Oh sure That's not stupid at all It's very hazy Her: Let's say I'm having sex with someone and they actually ask and I say yes but inside I don't feel comfortable and don't wanna do it but i'm making myself do … Continue reading Transcript from a real facebook chat I had the other day
A few years ago, when I decided to bleach a strip of my dark hair white, I had no intentions other than to see my own reflection as different from that of the girl who was with my ex. I'd never once imagined that the small change in color would be interpreted as rebellion (other … Continue reading Streaks
To be read aloud, somewhat: So I'm on Netflix considering watching The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars because that seems as accurate a depiction of my life right now as any when I look over and see my partner on the floor. His entire body is flat on the ground, and he's rolling. He's rolling to … Continue reading Ru(t)n
I was in a convenience store in Phuket one evening, looking for band-aids with my friend, when this European tourist walked in and made a bee-line for me. At least, I think he was a tourist. (He dressed like a homeless person so I couldn't be sure.) The first words out of his mouth were, … Continue reading How much for this one?
I follow a couple of online media outlets to keep up with Asian American-specific news. This year, I noticed a strange pattern. At the very beginning of 2017, I was surprised to see violence against an 83-year-old Asian woman on my newsfeed. Strange that anyone would hurt an elderly woman, and an Asian/Asian American one at that. … Continue reading Violence is intergenerational
Whether you immigrated when you were 12, were born in the U.S., or came over so early you barely remember your birth country, none of that matters. We all know the drill, the "ching chong, chink" slurs thrown at you in the school hallways, the assumption that you're from China, the guessing game that follows if … Continue reading to love a self
I've had multiple conversations with people during which I realized they don't know what a lot of symptoms of mental illness looks like. And if I hadn't both witnessed as well as experienced them myself, I wouldn't have known either. For the longest time, I thought these behaviors were unique to me, or worse, character … Continue reading “I’m fine;” the mentally not-okay mind
If you didn't already know, racism isn't just violence, hate crimes, slurs, or other forms of explicit discrimination. And for the purposes of this post, it isn't just recognizable microaggressions either. It can operate as innocently as choosing who to sit next to, or forgetting to invite certain people to an event. People know that exclusion is … Continue reading We’re Not Friends
I love you so much. I want these to be one of the first words you ever hear because I was not brave enough to exchange them with my own mother until I was 18. I will try my best to raise you with Vietnamese. I know that at times you may not find it something to … Continue reading Dear Daughter,
There are some really great writings on anti-Blackness in Asian and Asian American communities that reassure me I'm not alone in my thoughts and experiences. This is one of my favorites. (I love the author; seriously- go read more of Kim Tran's stuff.) I would also recommend this article that better explains the link between the model … Continue reading Why appropriate?